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🏆 Excel World Champs
And the illegal app store
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This is Nick. This is Jack. And does that Twix bar taste different? That’s flavor-flation in chocolate form. Brands from Coke to Ritz Crackers are swapping ingredients out with lower-cost alternatives. One study found that 37% of food brands changed their recipes to save $$. Swap hazelnuts with peanuts? Tragic.
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1) The Illegal Tollbooth: The App Store
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A jury just found that Google’s App Store is illegal — Bad news for Apple and Google, but potentially good news for consumers.
First, some context:
There’s an App Tax: Every time you subscribe or pay for something in an app, Apple or Google takes 15-30% of the revenue. Critics call that unfair and “a tax on the internet”. Which brings us to….
The lawsuit: Fortnite-maker Epic Games took Google to court 3 years ago, arguing the App Tax broke antitrust rules. And the verdict is finally in…
The jury agrees: That this is bogus. So Google was found guilty of violating antitrust laws. Now the judge will decide how to fix this injustice.
The case revealed something big: The App Stores make so. much. money.
💰 $200B of spending is processed on apps each year through Google and Apple’s App Stores. A 15% cut = $30B in fee revenue/year.
💰💰 Divide that between Apple and Google → $15B each.
đź’°đź’°đź’° That would rank each app store at #15 on the list of most profitable companies in America.
The Takeaway →
Let people pay with a credit card. That’s what app store justice looks like. When you download the Hulu app and go to subscribe, an app store payment window pops up — like a Toolbooth, Apple/Google take a 15% cut. In the Fortnite case, all Epic Games wants is for gamers to be able to pay directly with a credit card. And since the jury found Google guilty, an alternative like that is likely coming.
2) ICYMI: Microsoft Excel Is a Sport Now
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Image Source: Financial Modeling World Cup
The winner of the Excel Spreadsheet World Championships was belted in Las Vegas this week. Watch out pickleball, there’s a new pastime on the circuit.
“The Annihilator,” (aka Andrew Ngai) is world champ for the 2nd time. You should see this guy’s pivot table.
The Competition: 16 challengers compete to solve 6 challenges in Excel in front of an audience... with their screens on the jumbotron for all to see.
The Prize: $3,000, a trophy, a WWE-style belt, and the right to say “Can I show you a faster way?”
VLOOKUP…at these Excel facts we found in our research:
⌨️ Mr. Spreadsheet was almost Excel’s name, but it gave off the wrong impression.
⌨️ It was copied by Google Sheets, but Excel is still used by an estimated 80% of finance professionals.
⌨️ Diverse Use-Cases: From processing a quarterly TPS report to tracking your wedding invite list, this bad boy covers the bases.
The Takeaway →
Microsoft Excel is the wheel of finance. But unlike the cavemen, Microsoft patented their wheel. Since its birth in 1985 Excel has barely changed. Yet, it remains a pillar to Microsoft’s flagship software package: Office.
For 40K years, not many changes have come to the wheel. For 40 years, Microsoft hasn’t made many changes to their excel spreadsheet either. Because Excel is the wheel of finance - the patented wheel of finance.
On the pod today…
💕🎄 The Hallmark Channel unleashed 40 new movies for this holiday season. To learn about Hallmark’s industry-leading movie ROI, listen to today’s pod. Catch Me if You Clause, anyone?
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Here’s what else you need to know today —
⛽ The COP28 climate summit in Dubai ended today with nearly 200 nations adopting a deal that includes "transitioning away" from fossil fuels — it’s the first time ever a global deal has explicitly called for a move away from coal, oil, and gas.
✅ Harvard’s board voted to keep the school’s president, following UPenn’s president's resignation over the weekend.
🎾 Live Tennis is next for Netflix — The Netflix Slam happens in Vegas this March, featuring Rafael Nadal vs Carlos Alcaraz.
🧸 Hasbro is laying off 1,100 toy workers (20% of its workforce). Toy companies make ½ their money during the holidays, and Hasbro’s not feeling Christmas cheer.
🔎 Google shared the top searches of 2023 — Bibimbap was the top food, Inter Miami took the W in sports, and rizz was the #1 searched definition. Don’t ask us to use it in a sentence.
đź“° The NY Times hired a director to manage how the media outlet will leverage AI. If a bot writes an article for the Times, this guy will decide how.
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Shohei Ohtani has deferred almost all of his $70M/year contract until after his contract expires, so the Dodgers have $ today to build a team around him — A “buy now, pay later” situation.
And one more thing. Send us your best Excel puns that make you SQueal.
—Nick & Jack
FYI, the writers of this newsletter own stock of Apple, Google, and Microsoft.
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