Happy Saturday Besties,

We just had National Avocado Day and came out unscathed… but not everyone can say the same. If you’re hosting a taco bar for your besties this weekend, we have your ice-breaker. But first…

• PSA: Avocado hand injuries are up. There’s a wild name for injury via avo, called “Avocado Hand.” (Stat: 1 in every 50 knife injuries is avocado-related).

• Wise words from a surgeon: “It definitely takes me a little longer to cut an avocado than it did back before I became a surgeon.”

• How to safely cut: Hold a knife parallel to the cutting board and carefully cut the avocado in half lengthwise around the seed, rotating the fruit around the knife. Then twist and pop out pit (there are many other ways…scroll). Butter knives work too.

So if you’re avo-cutting for your buddies, it really is an act of bravery.

Also…

🚨🚨🚨 HELP NEEDED: Next week, we’re recording the next Hotline Episode in San Francisco — with 2 special guests — the masters of the millennial workplace. So if you’ve got a tricky situation at work and don’t know what to do, email us at [email protected]. Or if you’ve got a question about how to get promoted, not demoted 😉 😉 We’ll answer it on the Hotline…

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FACTS & STATS

• 🚨 WFH CAUTION: 8% of work done on computers in America is fake work (we call it “Furk”), using $20 mouse-moving devices. That’s why 50% of US companies now use some kind of electronic worker surveillance system (tracking if you’re really working or surfing or furking).

• Need a best buddy? 10% of Americans don’t have a close friend…and 30% of people say they are “lonely” (A.I. has a solution….story on next Monday’s show). You can also DM @tboypod, and we’ll be your buddies.

• R-Rated: Data from Disney’s new Deadpool & Wolverine movie that became the top-grossing R-rated movie ever: 40% of the viewers were female (higher than average R-movie), Nearly 20% were 45+ years old (way higher than average), and 11% of viewers were under 17 (double a typical %-rated film). Young/old, male/female — those are the 4 Quadrants of Hollywood.

 EXPLAINED

🦏 The Economics of Saving Rhinos…

Why did illegal Rhino shootings just plummet by 43%?

Here’s why: In the last year, Park Rangers have experimented with an ironic new strategy: Cut the horns off rhinos to reduce their poach-ability. The rhinos go unharmed — they just look like they got a bad haircut.

The Result: Since there’s little horn left on the rhino, Poachers don’t bother killing them for it. No evil collector is going to pay $300K for a stubby horn. The horn removal strategy has reduced the demand for rhinos.. but there’s more to the Economics of Saving the Rhino…

The wildest startup in Seattle makes fake rhino horns — synthetic horns identical to the real ones (it’s called Pembient). And they’ve introduced that fake horn into the black market… which increases the supply… which drops the price that Evil Horn Collector will pay. Because if ya can’t tell a fake from a real…

🗣️Let a buddy know “Supply & Demand is Saving the Rhino.”

ICYMI (OLYMPICS)

Whip these out when you’re watching The Games…

🥇 Prize Money: Every American who wins a gold gets a $37,500 reward (no matter the sport). But we’re cheap… because Spain pays G medal winners $100K. Serbia pays $200K. Israel pays $275K. Hong Kong pays the most at $768K. Yet others are even more extravagant…

• Creative Countries: In Malaysia, you get $1,00 a month for life… but in Poland, medalists get $25K, a diamond, a painting, a vacation voucher for 2, AND a free 2-bedroom apartment. Start training.

🥈 Booze-less Olympics: Because of French law that limits the sale of alcohol and tobacco at large events — there isn’t any beer officially being sold at the Olympics.

🥉 Spies on the Premises: France removed 1K people involved in the Olympics suspected of being spies. Turns out, the Olympics are one heckuva espionage opportunity with every country on earth in the same place — that’s why pre-Games, the host country conducted 1M background checks.

STOCKS

Starbucks stock just hit its lowest level in 5 years and we did the math on why…

😳 Store for store, Starbucks is the least-valuable chain in fast food. Starbucks is worth $85B, trailing only McDonald’s in food-chain market valuation. But here’s the thing… on a per-location basis, it’s the least valuable:

• Chipotle has ~3,000 locations ➡️ and is valued at ~$70B = So it’s worth $22M per store

• Cava has ~300 locations ➡️ and is valued at ~$9B = $30M per store

• Starbucks has ~37k locations ➡️ and is valued at ~$85B = $2M per store

👀 Listen to the July 31st episode for the story of how Starbucks lost its mojo…

BEST TAKEAWAY

🧠 Don’t look at resumes, look at enneagrams  

Jack and I discovered enneagrams a couple yrs ago (Jack sent Nick a legendary podcast episode about it). There are 9 different enneagrams, which is an ancient personality type system. Jack’s an enneagram 1, a “Reformer”, and Nick’s an enneagram 3, an “Achiever”.

But what’s the Ideal Enneagram for a turnaround CEO (read: Boeing)?

If you need to whip around a struggling company, we’re thinking Enneagram 1: A Reformer who’s principled, idealistic, and demands perfection. An Enneagram 8 is another viable option: A Challenger willing to confront the old guard.

• Find your enneagram: with this test.

TELL YOUR BESTIE

• 🥰 Pro tip: Set your Tinder location to the Olympic Village. Everyone’s doing it.

•  🥞 A record-breaking maple syrup harvest for Quebec is still not enough — the province produces 72% of the world’s maple syrup.

• 😋 The internet is going nuts for these muffins.

• 🎃 Happy Halloween… it’s officially Summer-ween. Too soon?

And one more thing. When Nick proposed to his fiancee, he called her the toast to his avocado…. it worked. Try it out this weekend and let us know how it goes.

And hit us up with any work-place do’s & don’ts questions (or calls for advice). Just reply to this email:)

Celebrate the wins this weekend, Yetis 🎉

—Nick & Jack